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Empathy fuels connection, Sympathy drives disconnection

People love a person in uniform and firefighters are at the top of that list. While most firefighters can start a new relationship with ease, some may lack the knowledge of how to turn it into a more meaningful partnership beyond the initial stage. We focus not only on dating and marriage but also on the relationships that firefighters have with other family members, friends and fellow firefighters.

Latest RELATIONSHIPS

HI, HONEY. HOW WAS YOUR SHIFT?

By Sarah Divine Talk with your partner and ask them if they are open to listening to you talk about your bad days. Are you able to go home to your significant other and share the bad days with them? Is that something that you would like to do? Do you want to be held […]

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REFLECTIONS AND IRRITATIONS

If you are willing to look at yourself, acknowledge where a change needs to happen and make the change, your perception of life will dramatically increase for the better. I sat there reading my response to the text that I was just about to send. Then, it hit me. I was replying the exact same […]

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THE FIRE SEX TRADITION

We all want high quality, high frequency sex with our partners. There are some deep-rooted traditions in the fire department, such as the Maltese cross, shiny red fire trucks and, of course, Dalmatians. Some departments have specific traditions that only they keep and embrace. But one tradition that may or may not be as common is: […]

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LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH

While being vulnerable emotionally can be as nerve-wracking as an emergency scenario, it is mandatory to stay close with your other half. The news is scary. The constant Hollywood movie headlines seem like fiction, not real-life. So, what does a pandemic mean for the relationships of firefighters? We still need to eat, exercise, save members […]

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IN-LAWS: DO THEY FIRE UP OR DAMPEN YOUR MARRIAGE?

Everyone must know when to set limits but still make it clear that they desire a close and loving relationship. Firefighting is stressful work but developing and maintaining a good rapport with your in-laws may prove to be just as stressful, only on a different level. Some research suggests that there may be a reason […]

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I COULD AGREE WITH YOU, BUT THEN WE’D BOTH BE WRONG

In the heat of an argument, disagreeing with the person you’re arguing with sometimes adds to their motivation to argue further. Arguments can sometimes get intense. They sometimes result in a misunderstanding that creates conflict among people close to you — your family members, your partner, your friends or your co-workers. As a result, this […]

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UNTIL IT DOESN’T

The beauty of the camaraderie, dark humor and fire station joking is that it effortlessly builds resilience. Until it doesn’t.  Everyone wants to feel like they belong. It’s a human drive to feel like you are connected to a group and a part of something bigger than yourself. In many ways, it is this sense of […]

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SURVIVAL OF THE STRONG

Can we rely on the tests of the past to qualify the firefighters of the present? Of the future? As firefighters, we want the best. We want the best in order to be able to do the best job we can. On the whole, we’re motivated and driven; we have a job to do, we […]

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MORE ISN’T ALWAYS BETTER WHEN IT COMES TO SELF-ESTEEM

Validate each achievement you have, no matter how small you think they may be Let’s answer a few questions, shall we? Do you have a high self-esteem? Do you have a high self-confidence? Can you have a high self-esteem but low self-confidence or low self-esteem but high self-confidence? Maybe you are asking right now — […]

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MORALITY CHECK

Checking in with our motives is a good way to keep ourselves on the right side of morality. Done any good deeds lately? You may be on your way to work, tunes cranked, smiling with self-satisfaction as you think about how you just brought in your neighbor’s garbage bins and shoveled his sidewalk. Sure, the […]

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LONE WOLF

Just for a moment, consider the relationships you have with your coworkers. Love them, tolerate them or hate them, we all have workplaces. But what kind of places are workplaces? This is a question worth considering because, in large part, workplaces express the relationships forged with coworkers and colleagues. Positive or negative, these relationships define […]

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DOES BEING NICE COME AT A COST?

Using aggression as a tool to get what you want can be an asset when used in a controlled and methodical way. We’ve all heard the saying that nice guys finish last. This trope can be seen in any number of movies in which the sweet guy finds himself outshined by the jerk both in […]

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LEAVE YOUR “A”TYPE PERSONALITY AT THE FIREHALL

Lots of people with type A personalities don’t have trouble switching gears between their work and family lives. People often have a mystified impression of firefighters, and for good reason. Firefighters are our first line of defense against many natural and manmade disasters, jumping into action in situations where the natural (and wise) instinct is […]

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HOW TO RESTORE BALANCE AFTER A DIVORCE

RELATIONSHIPS Learn to love your own company. Find things you love to do alone. Get out of your comfort zone and discover the excitement of life again. Divorces are complicated and painful in many ways. They can also leave lasting effects that impact all areas of life. How are you supposed to have time for […]

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DEALING WITH THE GUILT OF LEAVING FAMILY TO SERVE YOUR COMMUNITY

Erratic schedules, calls in the middle of the night and constant worry are realities that your loved ones face. When you decided to become a firefighter, you committed to a life of serving and protecting others. Throughout your career, you’ve sprung into action at a moment’s notice, even at unscheduled or inconvenient times. You’ve also […]

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BEST-KEPT SECRET OF FIRE SERVICE: TIME WITH FAMILY

Despite the hardships of the job while on duty, not many parents get such precious family time outside of work. Changing perspective is a healthy attitude exercise that will help you enjoy your days off with your family. Working in the fire service can be stressful. It’s the nature of being a first responder: arriving […]

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6 TIPS FOR DEVELOPING A BETTER WORK-LIFE BALANCE

I am here to share some information with you from the “school of hard knocks” that I believe will help keep a steady course as you navigate your career. So, let’s say we “set sail.” Eight years after I retired, following a successful and rewarding 26-year career with the Chesterfield (Va.) Fire and EMS Department, […]

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5 TIPS FOR A HAPPY FAMILY LIFE

Firefighting is a fulfilling yet demanding career. Because of that, it can be easy to focus on work more than the other areas of life. However, it’s essential to also prioritize the other aspects of life to live a long, happy existence. One of the main pieces of the puzzle for a happy life seems […]

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